WE ARE RESTARTING THE BLOG IN JANUARY 2020 WITH A POEM BY NEENV RAJU AKUNURI
By Neenv Raju Akunuri
You think I don’t notice
when you walk home with that wide smile,
the one I hadn’t been the reason for, in years.
You believe I don’t see, the little dance in your step,
that twirl in the rain?
I turn a blind eye to the packet of cigarettes,
stashed away in your purse,
that belong to neither of us.
I close my eyes and turn to the other side, when I hear your whispers fill the void in our room,
in the middle of the night
You lie, “it’s just work”, the next morning and hope that I buy it.
I rub your now stiff shoulders and wash down the lump in my throat with freshly squeezed juice.
Your fingers no longer entwine with mine, on lazy Sunday afternoons. Your face no longer rests on the crook of my neck.
It has found home in someone else’s arms.
Your hair, doesn’t smell of the shampoo, you’ve just replaced.
You instead reek of infidelity.
We are broken beyond repair, we both know it.
Yet, I find comfort in your silence.
It’s not the truth that I’m scared of.
No, what I am terrified of, is the reality,
that I’ll have to come to terms with,
once you confess,
that he is everything you ever wanted;
and he is everything I can never be.
I’m aware, my love, that the future of our relationship rests firmly with my silence.
So I stay mum and let you lie.
I tell myself to breathe.
Until then, I let you lie, and let myself live.